We have had some emotional times since I last wrote. We got a our BFP (again) We have been so excited, but there has been some bad news as well, the doctors were worried about my HCG levels which were 3200 on the 22nd of March and only went up to 4200 on the 24th. That prompted an ultrasound, they could only see a gestational sac measuring at 5 weeks, 2 days and said that my dates may be off so we would have to wait and see what happens. They took my HCG levels again as well as my progesterone that day and I waiting (less then) patiently the next day for the results. I had resolved to the fact that it was happening again and I was ready to know how quickly my levels were dropping. When they finally called I braced myself to hear that my HCG levels had dropped dramatically and that I was loosing another baby. But that is not what I heard instead I was told that my levels had gone up to 12,000 in the last four days, so to say I was confused does not cover it. They said my progesterone levels were only at 9.8 so they put me on a supplement for that. Now we play the waiting game until our next appointment on 4/11/2011. I have no idea if this is a viable pregnancy or not, I am praying to God everyday while still keeping a level head to the possibility of what could happen. Lord I pray to you, for only you can intervene, only you can know what is right for me. In your name I pray, Amen. ~mai~
Thursday, March 31, 2011
How We Got Here- Original date 2-27-11
Jeremy and I conceived on December 6th, my mothers birthday. We were so thrilled because we had been trying to get pregnant. We went about the usual gittiness that comes with the positive pregnancy test and told a few select people, the ones who knew we were actively trying. After getting a confirmation from the doctor and setting up our first visit with our OBGYN, Dr. Sanford, we continued live life with the knowledge that we were going to be parents together again! We had two ultrasounds and got to see the most beautiful of heartbeats, it was so amazing. Unfortunatly, it was not to be as we found out at 8 weeks of pregnancy that we were losing our baby. I was very intune with my body from the moment we decided to conceive. I knew when I was ovulating, I knew at 8 dpo that I was pregnant and I knew I was miscarrying before the heartbeat even stopped beating. When I went to the doctor to tell them that something was not right, the heartbeat was at 140 bpm, but that did not settle my nerves in the least, I felt it in my bones that things were not playing out right. We went to the ER on my birthday and that is when the doctor there confirmed my fear, the heartbeat was gone, the baby was soon to follow. I had been so thrilled to find I had conceived on my mother's birthday, who I had lost when I was 26, it was like a gift. And then to find out a mere 8 weeks later, on my own birthday that it was all going to be gone, it was unbearable. How could this all be happening in such short succession? I cried, screamed and remained totally siilent all at once with all of my emotions running in wild frenzy for weeks. And now we have come full circle back to the "normal" cycle and to the beginning of the TTC dance once again. So there is the story, and here is where we will begin with a continuation or a new beginnning however you choose to read it. ~mai~
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